


If only I was yours

by Mortalbucky



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Cute, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Soulmates, Stucky - Freeform, kid!Bucky, kid!steve, romantic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-07-15 12:39:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7222672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mortalbucky/pseuds/Mortalbucky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically a story starting with a 6 years old Bucky & a 6 years old Steve who immediately become best friends and later discover that their feelings for each other are stronger than just that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Six years old

Steve carefully pulled the blanket over his and Bucky's small bodies, lying himself down next to Bucky on his soft bed. "Goodnight, Buck." Steve mumbles, resting his forehead against Bucky's. "Goodnight Stevie." Bucky whispers closing his eyes, relaxing into the warm touch of their foreheads lying against each other and slowly drifting to sleep.

Bucky and Steve have always slept like this - since they both just turned five - lying so close to each other they were almost lying on top of each other. They wouldn't know how or why it could be wrong to touch your best friend like that, or sleep in that way. It kinda was their habit; they were always together. At school, at home, at night, literally always.

And no one could change that. 

Well, at least Steve thought so.


	2. Eight years old

"Bucky! Pass me the ball!" Steve yells running across the field with a big smile plastered on his face. Bucky passed the ball to his best friend and Steve catches it with ease, although he was a little too happy about it because he immediately tripped over the ball, landing on the hard grass with his bare knees.

"Ow!" He cries, hugging his knees tightly. Bucky instantly came running towards his best friend, crouching down next to him with concern written all over his face. "Steve, Stevie, are you okay? Let me see your knees." Bucky says worriedly with big eyes. Steve sniffles and removes his arms from his knees, as blood dripped down his leg. "Oh.." Bucky says, staring at Steve's knees and not knowing what to do. Steve sniffles again, a single tear rolls down his cheek. Bucky leans in and hugs his best friend carefully, rubbing his back. "C'mon, we should get you home. Your mom can take care of your knee, alright? You will be okay." Bucky soothes, pressing a kiss to Steve's forehead. "Okay." Steve says quietly taking Bucky's small hand as Bucky carefully pulls his best friend up from the ground.


	3. ten years old

Steve was currently lying on the couch in his room with his back against the armrest and his legs on top of Bucky's thighs who was busy playing FIFA. Steve glanced at Bucky, taking in his facial features. He watched the way he'd bite his lower lip every time he was close to scoring a goal, or the way his tongue would stick out of his mouth in concentration. Steve quickly darted his eyes away from his best friend and tried to focus on his drawing - of Bucky - after he realized that he was staring. He put his pencil back on the paper and continued to sketch Bucky's face. Steve wasn't the best at drawing, but he liked doing it in his free time. It kind of was a hobby of his. Bruce, one of his friends from school, has always been fascinated by Steve's drawing. Steve grins, remembering Bruce's face when he first showed him one of his drawings; his jaw dropped and his eyes were wide open. "You drew that?" He'd said quietly, pointing at the drawing of a train Steve'd made. Yeah, Bruce is kind of the quiet, shy type, but when you really get to know him, he can ramble for hours.  Steve suddenly woke up from his thoughts by the sound of Bucky's voice.

"What'cha drawing?" Bucky asks, trying to look at his sketchbook. Steve hastily covers it with his hands. "Hey! Don't look, it's a surprise you jerk." 

"Woah, okay then. Wanna do something? I'm kind of bored." Bucky says leaning back against the couch in Steve's room. He just finished his third FIFA game, and his cheeks were red from staring at the tv screen for hours.

"It's ten o'clock, Buck. I think we should go to sleep soon. Mom will be home in half an hour." Steve says yawning. Bucky grinned at that. Steve always reminded him of a yawning puppy every time he did that, the way his eyes closed and his tongue would stick out of his mouth a little made him look adorable. 


	4. twelve years old

Steve glanced at Bucky, and sighed. He didn't know what was wrong, but _something_ was. Ever since last month he started to feel different around his best friend. Like, every time Bucky would grab his hand when Steve was nervous or sad about something, he'd feel this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach. And every single time he just tried to deny it, thinking it was just something that had to do with puberty. But he still felt it, everyday. And he really wanted to tell Bucky, but he just wasn't able to. 

"Steve? Are you okay?" Bucky said waking him up from his thoughts. "Wha- uh, yeah. Just thinking." Steve said slightly turning red. Bucky slowly started smirking. "Ah, I know it. Thinking about Sarah, aren't ya?" Bucky said playfully pushing him with his elbow.

The feeling again.

"No." Steve said ignoring the wide grin that was plastered on Bucky's face. "Hm, sure." Bucky said with a suspicious tone in his voice. Steve sighed, continuing to sketch in his book. He was currently working on a sketch of him and Bucky - a picture from when they were ten years old, lying in Steve's bed together - and he was almost finished. 


	5. fourteen years old

Steve was lying on the couch in his room, staring at his ceiling with a sad expression on is face. Bucky promised he'd be there around 10 o'clock, but it's already half past ten. Bucky was going out _a lot_ recently. Mostly with his "girlfriend" Ashley. Every time Steve heard Bucky talking about her, or just the thought of Bucky and her, made him feel sad, and not like an i'm-bored-and-i-don't-know-what-to-do kind of sad, but a my-heart-just-got-ripped-out-of-my-chest kind of sad. And yes, Steve knew he had a crush on his best friend. He discovered his feelings for Bucky two years ago when they were watching a movie. He can remember that day perfectly; Bucky fell asleep on his shoulder after thirty minutes, and he looked so damn adorable, and Steve couldn't help but smile at the thought of that. 

Steve quickly wiped his eyes, realizing they'd started watering. Why was he even crying? That's just selfish. Just- Bucky is his _best friend_ , nothing more. And he'll never be more than just that.

Ever.

Steve sadly glanced down at his hands and couldn't help but let a single tear roll down his cheek. Bucky will never have feelings for him the way Steve has feelings for Bucky. And he'll probably never be able to tell him. Steve sniffled, holding back a sob as Bucky suddenly stormed in. Steve wiped both of his eyes and nervously looked away hoping Bucky wouldn't notice him crying.

"Hey, sorry i'm late. I just lost t- Wait, hey, Steve? Steve, are you crying?" Bucky said plopping down next to his best friend. Steve scratched at the back of his head, clearing his throat. "I- it's nothing. Don't worry about it." Steve said with a voice everyone has after they'd cried. Bucky frowned. "Well, if you want to talk, i'm here, alright? You know that right?" Bucky says grabbing Steve's hand, gently rubbing it with his thumb. Steve closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "Y-yeah. I know." 


	6. Sixteen years old

It was a Saturday night, and Steve and Bucky were currently at Sarah Wayland's party - A friend of Bucky's. It wasn't too crowded - there were around twenty people. They all sat down in a circle as Jake laid a bottle on the ground in the middle of them. Steve's heart started beating faster and faster. He absolutely  _hated_ this game. Even though he'd never played it before, but he just already knew he did. The fact that you have to kiss the girl the bottle points at, makes him cringe. He'd never kissed anyone before. And yes, he didn't feel very _happy_  about that, because literally everyone - including Bucky, probably - had already had their first kiss. And he didn't really want to have his first kiss from a random girl he barely knows.

"Okay guys, let's start!" Aiden says smirking. "Who will begin?" 

Steve feels like his heart is going to explode out of his chest. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly as he closes his eyes for a second, trying not to panic.

"Adam?" Aiden says smirking. Steve glances at his best friend next to him. Bucky is smirking at Adam, who is sitting on Steve's left. "Alright then." Adam says.

He leans forward, firmly grabbing the bottle. Steve gulps and stares at the bottle with wide eyes. Adam finally spins the bottle, and oh, Steve wishes he could just disappear right then and there. Finally, the bottle stops spinning and lands on a girl right next to Bucky.  "Whoooo, you go Adam!" "Go get her man!" "Kiss her!" everyone chants, and Steve starts to feel a bit dizzy because of everyone shouting words straight through each other. Finally, Bucky starts talking. "Okay guys, chill out." He says and glances at Steve for a second - is that a look of sympathy in his eyes? No. No, no no. It wasn't. Just his damn imagination - before he looks back at the game in front of them. Adam leans forwards, as well as the girl, and then their lips connect. 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1.. 

Oh no.

Bucky grins at him. "Your turn, punk." He says ruffling Steve's hair, Steve swallows, grabbing the bottle with his way too sweaty hand. He spins the bottle and patiently waits for it to stop. Or even better - that it never stops spinning so that he doesn't have to kiss anyone. Yeah, that would be the best.

A few seconds later, the spinning comes to an end and the bottle points at-

"Bucky!" A random guy shouts, laughing. Steve turns totally red. "Kiss him!" Someone shouts. "Like they're gonna kiss. They're both guys." "Kiss him! Kiss him!" "Nice turn, Steve." "Gay!" "Kiss Bucky!" everyone is screaming and laughing and Steve's breathing starts to get a bit uneven. He takes a deep breath, looking into Bucky's eyes. Bucky looks back, gaping at Steve with his mouth wide open. Steve looks around himself, and he can feel his heart beating against his ribcage, and fuck - he can't do this. Not right now. Steve starts breathing faster and faster, and he slowly starts scrambling away from the crowd as the people around him give him weird glances - glances of disgust, Steve thinks - as he gets up and nearly falling back down again, a tear rolling down his cheek. He hated this. He never wanted to do any of this - he hates _himself._

Steve runs towards the front door of Sarah's house and opens it, meeting the ice cold air. He sinks to the ground with his back against the door, a sob escaping his lips. He tried taking a few deep breathes to steady his breathing, but it didn't help. Images of the people inside were flashing through his mind, looking at him like he was some kind of child who didn't belong there. Steve let's out another sob, tears streaming down his face. Why did his life have to be so messed up? He took another deep breath as he started hiccuping. He quickly took his inhaler out of his pocket and sucked on it, a wash of relief going through his body as his breathing slowly got back to normal. 

"Steve- Stevie? Pal, you out there?" He heard Bucky yell from behind the door. Steve hugged his knees closer to his chest and closed his eyes, trying to stay as quiet as possible. He really didn't want Bucky to see him like this; Fragile, crying, _stupid_. Oh so stupid for crying about someone he'd never get. "Steve, come on, man. I'm worried, alright? I want to help.. Please, Steve.." He heard Bucky say from behind him, and he couldn't help but let out a sob. He immediately covered his mouth with his hand, hoping Bucky didn't hear him. Steve closed his eyes again wishing he could just disappear. Forever.

"Steve? Steve is that you?" He suddenly hears Bucky say. Steve presses his trembling lips together, shoving himself away from the door so that he was now sitting against the cold, hard wall right next to it. The front door slowly opens, and Steve keeps his eyes closed like Bucky wouldn't see him if he did so. "Steve! Steve- what- No, no please don't cry.." Bucky says crouching down next to his best friend, removing Steve's hands from his face. Steve looks down at his hands, which are now being held by Bucky's - and wow, he missed the touch of them. Bucky looks into Steve's ocean blue eyes with a broken expression on his face, slowly bringing his thumb up to Steve's face and removing his dried tears. "God, Steve.. I'm so, so sorry. I shouldn't've convinced you to come. This is all my fault, I'm sorry. It won't happen again, okay? I'm here, you're fine." Bucky soothes, hugging Steve's fragile frame as he gently starts rubbing circles on his back. Steve leans into the hug, closing his eyes in the crook of his best friend's neck, taking in his welcoming, warm smell. 

And wow, Steve had never been in love with someone like this before.


End file.
